Wittering moron on the beach..! I managed to stop commuting so I could avoid people chattering aimlessly into their mobiles, but today I had one right next to me, on the beach.

Sipping on her inevitable Stabucks, having a fag, all the while gabbing on her wretched phone, as I tried to read in the comfortable spot I'd found for myself. After more than 20 minutes, still burbling inanely into her mobile, she trudged off.

She's probably still talking away into it, somewhere...I was just settling down happily in the peace when very loudly, and very close by, an angry vagrant started shouting...'I've got a ****** body bag for you....and you...and ****** YOU!' cursing the wortld and everyone in it. As soon as I felt he was out of the way – I hadn't dared look round while he was effing and blinding – I closed my book and returned home with a tension headache.

This wasn't why I had come to live in Hove. Anyone else find the beach a noisy, aggressive, selfish, headache-inducing place sometimes?